Probability

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    In print, the magazine editor muses, “Every time
    I board a plane, I assume my chances
    are 50-50: either
    the plane lands safely, or it doesn’t.”
    There it is again – the mirage
    that outcomes must be
    equally
    likely.

    I could blame
    his teachers and textbooks
    stuck in stale symmetry:
    quarters, cards, dice.
    Now my choice:
    either I make
    a teachable moment
    or I don’t.

    I decide
    to ask that editor if he is just
    as quick to apply
    his view to rare 
    delightful events
    like winning the lottery,
    finding one’s soulmate,
    and world peace.

  • Child: What do you do at work?

    Parent: I teach probability to statistics majors, so calculus is an integral part of my job.

     

    Dennis Pearl and Larry Lesser 

  • lyric © 2021, 2022 by Lawrence M Lesser
    may sing to the tune of the same-titled song by Paul Simon

    “The problem is all inside your head,” she said to me.
    “The answer is easy, combinatorially:
    To count the ways and reasons to set yourself free
    You’ll see there’s 50 ways to leave your lover.”

    She asked, “Why did your love not survive?”
    You can choose from a list of 5:
    Money, sex, in-laws, trust, and talks that didn’t jive--
    So far that’s 5 ways to leave your lover,
    5 ways to leave your lover....

    CHORUS: We’ll count how many, Jenny, of each set, Chet,
    Then multiply, Vi: multiplication principle!
    Make a tally, Sally: ev’ry way, Ray!
    The product’s Cartesian, Steven: multiplication principle!

    She asked how I’ll tell her that the love is gone.
    I said there’s 5 ways I’m trying on:
    Email, text, phone call, letter, or a song --
    That now makes 25 ways to leave your lover.

    She said, “What will you do with all the stuff you’ve got,
    Stuff she gave you ‘cause she loved you a lot?”
    I said, “2 choices: I keep it or not --
    now I see 50 ways to leave your lover,
    52 times 2 ways to leave your lover....

    (Repeat Chorus)

     

  • by Anubis the Philosomancer

    200+ Temperature records set worldwide in the last two days;
    430+ Temperature records set worldwide in the last seven.

    The heat record in Death Valley is 134 degrees Fahrenheit;
    it has been as close to that as 124 degrees the past few days.

    Believe what you will about the inconvenience of the dire truth;
    Statistical Anomalies are becoming the new Norms

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    The lottery numbers you choose
    Won't change your chance to lose,
    But if all 6 match
    You'll get much more cash
    If you picked what's picked by few

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    When categories combine,
    Sometimes you will find
    What had trended
    Now upended:
    New correlation sign!

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