Experiments

  • Tangrams are puzzles in which a person is expected to place geometrically shaped pieces into a particular design. The on-line Tangram Game provides students the opportunity to design many versions of the original game in order to test which variables have the largest effect on game completion time.

  • …experimentation will always involve a series of trials; the question is how well one utilizes information from one to the next.

    Nancy Flournoy (1947 - )

  • Do not seek for information of which you cannot make use.

    Anna C. Brackett (1836–1911)

  • … most people prefer to carry out the kinds of experiments that allow the scientist to feel that he is in full control of the situation rather than surrendering himself to the situation, as one must in studying human beings as they actually live.

    Margaret Mead (1901 – 1978)

  • Lyrics by Dennis Pearl.  May sing to the tune of "The House of the Rising Sun" popularized by the Animals

    There is a mouse with odd new genes
    They’re all analyzing that one.
    And it’s been the ruin of many a poor lab
    Reproducible results are none.

    My mother went to Baylor
    Where she studied new transgenes.
    My father was a Gramblin’ man
    Down near New Orleans.

    Now the only thing a study needs
    are cases to match controls.
    And the only time that’s satisfied
    takes dice and all their rolls.

    Oh teachers, tell your students
    Not to do what I have done.
    Spend your lives experimenting
    on a mouse, analyzing just one.

    Well my bioinformatics platform
    Is impossible to train.
    I’m going back to splicing genes
    having samples to obtain.

    They built a mouse with odd new genes
    to solve a rare disease.
    A statistician asked for a hundred more
    And God, I hope he said “please.”

  • by Sir Maurice G. Kendall (1907 - 1983)

     

    Hiawatha, mighty hunter
    He could shoot ten arrows upwards
    Shoot them with such strength and swiftness
    That the last had left the bowstring
    Ere the first to earth descended.
    This was commonly regarded
    As a feat of skill and cunning.

     

    One or two sarcastic spirits
    Pointed out to him, however,
    That it might be much more useful
    If he sometimes hit the target.
    Why not shoot a little straighter
    And employ a smaller sample?

    Hiawatha, who at college,
    Majored in applied statistics
    Consequently felt entitled
    To instruct his fellow men on
    Any subject whatsoever,
    Waxed exceedingly indignant
    Talked about the law of error,
    Talked about truncated normals
    Talked of loss of information,
    Talked about his lack of bias
    Pointed out that in the long run
    Independent observations
    Even though they missed the target
    Had an average point of impact
    Very near the spot he aimed at
    (With the possible exception
    Of a set of measure zero.)

    This, they said, was rather doubtful.
    Anyway, it didn't matter
    What resulted in the long run;
    Either he must hit the target
    Much more often than at present
    Or himself would have to pay for
    All the arrows that he wasted.

    Hiawatha, in a temper,
    Quoted parts of R. A. Fisher
    Quoted Yates and quoted Finney
    Quoted yards of Oscar Kempthorne
    Quoted reams of Cox and Cochran
    Quoted Anderson and Bancroft
    Practically in extenso
    Trying to impress upon them
    That what actually mattered
    Was to estimate the error.

    One or two of them admitted
    Such a thing might have its uses
    Still, they said, he might do better
    If he shot a little straighter.

    Hiawatha, to convince them,
    Organized a shooting contest
    Laid out in the proper manner
    Of designs experimental
    Recommended in the textbooks
    (mainly used for tasting tea, but
    Sometimes used in other cases)
    Randomized his shooting order
    In factorial arrangements
    Used in the theory of Galois
    Fields if ideal polynomials
    Got a nicely balanced layout
    And successfully confounded
    Second-order interactions.

    All the other tribal marksmen
    Ignorant, benighted creatures,
    Of experimental setups
    Spent their time of preparation
    Putting in a lot of practice
    Merely shooting at the target.

    Thus it happened in the contest
    That their scores were most impressive
    With one solitary exception
    This (I hate to have to say it)
    Was the score of Hiawatha,
    Who, as usual, shot his arrows
    Shot them with great strength and swiftness
    Managing to be unbiased
    Not, however, with his salvo
    Managing to hit the target.
    There, they said to Hiawatha,
    That is what we all expected.

    Hiawatha, nothing daunted,
    Called for pen and called for paper
    Did analyses of variance
    Finally produced the figures
    Showing beyond all peradventure
    Everybody else was biased
    And the variance components
    Did not differ from each other's
    Or from Hiawatha's
    (This last point, one should acknowledge
    Might have been much more convincing
    If he hadn't been compelled to
    Estimate his own component
    From experimental plots in
    Which the values all were missing.
    Still, they couldn't understand it
    So they couldn't raise objections
    This is what so often happens
    With analyses of variance.)

    All the same, his fellow tribesmen
    Ignorant, benighted heathens,
    Took away his bow and arrows,
    Said that though our Hiawatha
    Was a brilliant statistician
    He was useless as a bowman,
    As for variance components
    Several of the more outspoken
    Made primeval observations
    Hurtful to the finer feelings
    Even of a statistician.

    In a corner of the forest
    Dwells alone my Hiawatha
    Permanently cogitating
    On the normal law of error
    Wondering in idle moments
    Whether an increased precision
    Might perhaps be rather better
    Even at the risk of bias
    If thereby one, now and then, could
    Register upon the target.

  • A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."

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