Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary for efficient citizenship as the ability to read and write!
Samuel S. Wilks (1906 - 1964)
paraphrasing Herbert G. Wells (1866 - 1946)
Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary for efficient citizenship as the ability to read and write!
Samuel S. Wilks (1906 - 1964)
paraphrasing Herbert G. Wells (1866 - 1946)
A knowledge of statistics is like a knowledge of foreign languages or of algebra; it may prove of use at any time under any circumstances.
Sir Arthur L. Bowley (1869 - 1957)
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang (1844 - 1912)
It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon.
Robert Hooke (1918 - 2003)
A judicious man uses statistics, not to get knowledge, but to save himself from having ignorance foisted upon him.
Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
Lyric copyright by Dennis Pearl
may sing to tune of "Give Peace a Chance" (John Lennon)
Ev'rybody's talkin' bout
transformation, correlation, observation, estimation,
nesting and testing.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
C'mon
Ev'rybody's talkin' bout
specificity sensitivity, variance, and confidence,
treatment, experiment, error and squarer,
poll and control.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
Ev'rybody's talkin' bout
boxplot and dotplot, stemplot, scatterplot,
thisplot and thatplot.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
All we are saying is Learn to use Chance.
Lyric copyright by Mark Glickman
may sing to tune of "Satisfaction" (Mick Jagger, Keith Richards)
I can't get no statisfaction,
I can't get no statisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.
When I'm sitting down at lecture,
And that man begins to explain to me
That you must pay close attention
When you're fitting your regression
To heteroskedasticity!
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.
I can't get no statisfaction,
I can't get no statisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.
When I'm working on my homework,
And I'm filled with great uncertainty,
So I choose the pooled procedure,
And my teacher points and laughs at me
'Cause our p-values don't agree!
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.
I can't get no statisfaction,
I can't get no strong relation.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.
When I'm handed my diploma
For my hard-earned Bachelor's degree,
And the Dean says I cannot leave
Until I give an explanation
How to compute a correlation.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.
I can't get no, I can't get no,
I can't get no statisfaction,
no statisfaction, no statisfaction, no statisfaction.
Lyrics copyright by Jeff Witmer
May sing to the tune of "Desperado" (The Eagles)
Statistician, why don't you come to your senses
Your boxplots use fences, outliers to find
Take observations, stratified samples or surveys
But when you experiment, use a double-blind
Don't you draw unlabeled axes now, or think about a line plot
You know a scatterplot is always your best bet
Now it seems to me some areas can be found in your Z table
But you only want to use the internet
Statistician, oh you ain't getting the answer
The pain of a chi-square is driving you home
Degrees of freedom, well that just Bill Gosset talking
Your fingers are walking through t tables alone
Don't placebos help when effects confound
Your power's up and your alpha's down
And it's hard to tell a treatment from control T
rimming all your highs and lows,
the median must be the way to go
Statistician, you should be taking a census
Your samples are messy, so throw them away
It may be hard now, but there's a Bayesian above you
You better let the CAUSE web love
(You better let the CAUSE web love)
You better let the CAUSE web love, before it's too late.
Lyrics and music ©1994-2005 by Lawrence Mark Lesser
I've been mean-in' to tell ya 'bout my last co-relation,
I've been median to tell ya 'bout my last co-relation:
She wasn't from Haiti, but she was variation!
(unexplained and uncontrolled!)
I saw her with ANOVA man, and they were not discrete,
I saw her with ANOVA man, and they were not discrete--
I went proba-ballistic and let out a Pearson scream!
(those deviates! What a moment!)
Told her, "If you're gamma data me, mu beta change your mode.
If you gamma data me, mu beta change your mode.
Chi-square you'll be inference, if you random that road!
(you'll be confounded-- and skewed!)
Called up my dad: "Hi Pa! This is testing my heart!"
Yeah I told my dad: "Hypothesis testing my heart!"
He said, "What's your expectation? Ya met her at an X-bar."
(You're right, Dad! Simulator!)
mean blues guitar solo
She was my significant other -- significant at point-oh-three,
She was my significant other -- significant at point-oh-three,
But alpha get her soon -- as sample as can be!
(Time serious!)
Gonna reclaim my degrees of freedom -- as sample as can be!
Lyric copyright by Joy Jordan
Yo-yo listen...
Across the nation
There is a need for standard deviation
For explaining variation
For measuring correlation
But don't always believe what they say
in that USA today
'Cause you know that correlation don't imply causalateh
Is it a random sample?
Is the number of people ample?
Or is the response voluntary?
If so, this could get hairy!
Is the sampling biased?
Is the variation vast?
Then the results aren't legit
And we can kick your es-timate.
Chorus(think Eminem's "Lose Yourself" chorus):
Lose yourself in the data, the theory
You want it, you know you'll never let it go -- whoa.
Stats class is helpful, is necessary
You'll use it everywhere you go -- whoa.
Now here's a story
Of the residuals' glory.
Do the errors seem to fan?
Then rethink the regression, man.
Outliers can have an effect
That you can't neglect.
So first graph the data --
You'll be happy lay-tah.
Hey -- we have the same birthday.
Wow!
But we might see an effect that portends of consequence
When actually it's coincidence
Can we really be that dense?
The meaning of life, you ask?
I'm up to the task.
Hear the roll of the drum...
It's the Central Limit Theorum.
Repeat Chorus
Now what if we want to estimate the mean of the population?
Do we just give an estimate, or is there more explanation?
If you say the confidence is in the interval not the method,
Then you haven't learned the lesson -- which is what I've dreaded.
When you're hearing someone rant
About a result that's significant
Ask if the assumptions are met
Otherwise it's probably crap that you'll get.
If you've been studying all term
Then there's no reason to squirm.
You should have this stuff down pat,
'Cause statistics is where it's at!