Q: What do you call a summary of studies on the effectiveness of loving-kindess meditation?
A: Metta-analysis.
Larry Lesser
Lyrics & Music © 2016 Monty Harper
We've got our kids in the choir
The kids in the choir
We measured their heights
To see how they changed
And on the average
Our kids got shorter
We took it for a fact
Yeah, it was all arranged, but...
We took the boys in the choir
And the girls in the choir
We were thinking they were shorter
Like the average had said
But the boys got taller
And the girls got taller
How could this happen?
Had we lost our heads?
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Well we had more girls this year
And fewer boys this year
And girls are mostly shorter
Than boys as a rule
So our girls got taller
And our boys got taller
While our choir got shorter
And we all got schooled, because
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Lyrics and music © 2015 by Tom Toce
It might not be that bad.
It might not be that bad.
Before you start to count your days,
it might not be that bad.
The lab results aren't vague.
They say you've got the plague.
But praise the skies and Thomas Bayes,
it might not be that bad.
Because the plague doesn't happen all that much,
and no test's error free.
You'd be amazed what that can mean,
to the likes of you and me!
It might not be that bad.
It might not be that bad.
Believe me, you should count the ways.
It might not be that bad.
The accuracy of the test may be ninety-nine percent.
What are the odds you won't be around to pay next month's rent?
They might not be that bad.
It might not be that bad.
Before you start to count your days,
it might not be that bad!
One more fact you need to bring:
The plague is a one in a million kind of thing!
A million tests they do.
Ten thousand say boo-hoo.
But most are false and that is why,
it might not be that bad.
Because baby, it's ten thousand to one
you haven't got the plague!
It might not be that bad.
It might not be that bad.
Believe me, you should count the ways,
it might not be that bad!
It might not be that bad!
Music and Lyrics © 2016 Monty Harper
People who own goggles are often getting fit
We seem to see that happen quite a lot
May we conclude that getting fit is caused by owning goggles?
Clearly, we may not!
If we take into account how many people swim,
It's a factor that confounds the implication,
For people who swim own goggles and get fit
And that that explains our wacky correlation!
I've found that when I'm happy, I often seem to giggle
Knowing that may really serve me well.
Or maybe when I giggle, it tends to make me happy?
How am I supposed to tell?
The arrow of causation may point left or right or both,
So here's what I suspect to be the scoop:
I giggle and I feel happy so I giggle and feel more happy
So I giggle because I'm in a causal loop!
The yearly rate of poverty and the length of my own hair
Correlate with an r of .99
I discovered this by accident and I don't know what to do
With this amazing hair of mine!
Is there some hidden mystic power built into my hair?
My professor says it's nothing of the kind.
It's coincidence my hair length predicts the yearly rate of poverty,
The universe is just messing with my mind.
Post hoc ergo propter hoc is just a fallacy
You expect a certain melody here, but - that's up to me
Lyrics © Mary McLellan
may sing to the tune of Pharell William's "Happy"
It might seem crazy what I’m ‘bout to say
There was a big fire last saturday
Hot coals and plumes of smoke everywhere
They sent - they sent a lot of… Firemen in there
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
All over the news about this and that
There’s too much damage and you can’t go back
If you send a lot of firemen to help you
Firemen will cause the damage, it’s what they do!
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lurking variables make it look like there’s a link
Lyrics © Mary McLellan
may sing to the tune of "99 Bottles"
99 variables in the experiment, 99 variables
Confounding variables cloud the issue, you can’t claim a cause
98 variables in the experiment, 98 variables
Confounding variables cloud the issue, you can’t claim a cause
You can’t claim a cause, you can’t claim a cause
Lyrics © Mary McLellan
may sing to the tune of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust"
Simpson’s Paradox, it does not rock
The conclusion you get from the separate groups
Are different when combined
Hey! Why does it do that?
They added those fractions wrong
Repeat