Testing

  • Lyrics copyright by Denise Tran
    may sing to the tune of "Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)" (Patrick Monahan, Robert Hotchkiss, James Stafford, Scott Underwood, and Charlie Colin)

    Backed by evidence, I've made a new guess
    My alternative hypothesis, hey--
    I thought you said you still loved me too
    But I've rejected this null, it just ain't true, hey--
    Why do I care for you when I've
    Found the p-value is less than point-oh-five, hey-- hey--

    But tell me, is there practical relevance
    To stop reaching out to you?
    Though statistical significance,
    A circumstance unlikely due to chance

    Tells me, I don't mean much to you
    And there's nothing left to do
    Sometimes the difference seems small at best
    Should I run another test?

    Well if p is low, I guess null must go
    Although I'd much prefer Ho to stay--
    But the chances you feel the way I do
    Are under five percent (wish it wasn't true), hey--
    If my results are right, I'm not quite sure
    Perhaps I made a Type I error? hey-- hey--

    But tell me, to stop reaching out to you,
    Is there practical relevance?
    Though statistical significance,
    A circumstance unlikely due to chance

    Tells me, I don't mean that much to you
    And there's nothing left to do
    I feel the difference is small at best
    Maybe I'll run another test?

    Could you imagine no Type I error,
    Saying things are out of place and the feelings are gone
    Even when they're really not

    Could you imagine if p was really high
    And I did not have to question
    The significance of the results
    Or your love for me

    Tell me, does significance mean a thing?
    If there exists another possibility
    I'll need some new hypotheses

    And tell me, is there practical relevance?
    Between results I'd expect from null
    And those I actually got
    Is the difference smaller than I thought?

    Tell me, 'cause I'm not so sure
    If I made a Type I error
    Feelin' so lonely, guess,
    I'll need to make another test

    Maybe I made a Type I error
    Should I still reject Ho?
    Still reject Ho?
    Or maybe I should set my alpha at less than point-oh-five

  • Lyric copyright © by Dennis K Pearl
    May sing to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" (John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie)

    You better watch error;
    they better be tight.
    Better be normal,
    or it don't work right.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town!

    It's summing those squares,
    And checking 'em twice;
    Variance 'tween or within a slice.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town!

    It sees the data you've been keeping;
    ...but not if they are fake.
    It knows if they're within or between;
    So between for goodness sake!

    Oh - You better watch error;
    they better be tight.
    Better be normal,
    or it don't work right.

    ANOVA Table's coming to town.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town.
    ANOVA Table's coming to town!

  • By Michael Greenacre & Gurdeep Stephens
    Barcelona, Catalonia & Victoria, Canada, March 2015

    Statistics, logistics, cladistics seem to me
    To have a common theme scientifically,
    Economists, biologists, with PhD degrees,
    They all need some proof of their theories.
    A letter is the key, you'll see clearly,
    Not B nor G nor V -- but it's the P !

    There's no values like P-values
    Like no values I know
    Think of something that is not worth proving,
    An hypothesis that everyone calls null,
    If your P is too large to reject it
    Then your experiment is rather dull.

    There's no values like P-values,
    Especially when they are low,
    Don't be sad if your P's over point-O-five,
    Just try again with samples twice the size,
    Everything is possible, just trust in me:
    Put your faith in the P.

    The F test, the Z test, the chi-square and the T
    And other cryptic terminology
    Anova, regression, tests distribution-free,
    They all need some sort of guarantee.
    So if you find a tiny effect size
    The P-value will be a good disguise.

    There's no values like P-values,
    The frequentist's hero,
    When you get that data modeling feeling
    But results you have are not a lot,
    You will need some stats that are appealing
    To show the journals your work is hot!

    There's no values like P-values
    Especially when they're low
    Don't be sad if your P's over point-O-five,
    Just try again with samples twice the size
    Everything is possible, just trust in me:
    Put your faith in the P!

    Check out the Video

  • Lyric © Mark Glickman
    may sing to tune of "Nowhere Man" (John Lennon, Paul McCartney)

    He's a real ANOVA man
    Designing all his sampling plans
    Calculating mean-squared errors and p-values.

    Wants to test for equal mu's
    Knows which tables he must use
    All his samples he will choose at random.

    ANOVA man, please listen;
    Where's the data that you're missing?
    ANOVA man, what kinds of bias can you withstand?

    Writes down two hypotheses;
    Hopes to reject the first of these;
    Needs to list out all degrees of freedom.

    ANOVA man, try harder;
    Don't give up, you're smarter;
    ANOVA man, how come your students don't understand?

    At 0.05 he rejects
    Ignores the size of his effects
    Now he's stuck -- he's got selection bias!

    ANOVA man, please listen;
    Where's the data that you're missing?
    ANOVA man, what kinds of bias can you withstand?

    He's a real ANOVA man
    Designing all his sampling plans
    Calculating mean-squared errors and p-values.

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