Testing

  • by Micah Wascher

    I feel rejection and I feel small,
    My heart breaks as they dismiss it all.
    I try my best to measure up,
    But the p-value says I'm not enough.

    They cast me out, they turn away,
    Yet there's something I have to say:
    Someone lingered in the test unseen—
    A Type I Error, she fled the scene.

    She gave them hope, left me none,
    Yet in the end, neither of us won.
    They chose the alternate, deemed it right,
    Then built a wall, locking me from sight.

    Two conclusions, side by side,
    But it’s my heart that was cast aside.
    Breaking down as researches pull,
    This is me—I am the null.

  • by Lawrence M Lesser

    At my first checkup
    with this doctor, he scans the labs,
    declares me diabetic for life
    like 1 in 10 Americans.
    Just like that: normal to diabetes,
    skipping prediabetes. He

    pulled the trigger not from my A1C, but from
    a tolerance test, possibly false
    with too few carbs,
    a pitfall I learned not from him or the lab,
    but frantic Googling
    this diagnosis.

    This internist is also a diabetologist,
    so diabetes may be his null,
    as the Anderson-Darling null is normality,
    with default to launch protocol.
    So is my Type 2
    a Type II error?

    He may not care
    I’m a researcher:
    I’d love a CGM to show in real time
    what spikes my sugar and its CV or my time out of range.
    He says that’s too complex –
    it’s glucometer and finger pokes for me. So back home I

    pull the trigger on my lancing device,
    and the pain’s less than bracing
    for the prick.
    Do I have tolerance for this? The monitor’s MOE
    exceeds half the window of
    what’s normal. Whatever

    label may stick, I want to change.
    Given how unmindful I’ve been with
    my potbelly and what goes in it,
    there’s power in turning carbs to servings
    and each plate into a pie chart, reducing portions
    of things like pie.

     

     

    Note: this poem was written before the diagnosis was deemed incorrect and overturned

  • lyrics by Jamie Tan Xin Yee, Joelyn Chong, Deston Tang, Christine Sia, Nellie Lee, Josiah Tan, and Lee Yi Yuan
    may be sung to the tune of "LOVE" by Bert Kaempfert and Milt Gabler

    Let us teach you a thing or two
    Stats is more than just concepts, for you
    Stats, is very useful, can be found around us
    Here’s a simple song for you to get to know it better

    F, tests for different variances
    Chi, looks for a relationship, you see
    Z, checks for both means and true proportions
    And T, is used when sigma is unknown to us, so...

    One, decide on your hypothesis
    Two, ascertain your significance level
    Three, identify which test you should be using, and
    Four, complete the steps and analyse your results, and

    These, are four basic tests, for stats
    All, can be done in a few simple steps
    Stats, is more than numbers so make sure to analyse it
    Come, let me show you what to do
    Come, let me show you what to do
    Come, let me show you what to do!

  • by Lawrence Mark Lesser

    When doing hypothesis tests,
    There's no threshold value that's best.
    It's very contrived
    To use point-oh-five
    To say if you should be impressed!

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